No, I Don’t Want Any Girl Scout Cookies!

It’s that time of year again. Time for us to subsidize slave labor under the guise of helping the children. It’s time for Girl Scout Cookies.

Someone brought a box to work. He said it’s four dollars now. Four dollars for fifteen cookies. The side of the box says it teaches girls about decision making and financial skills. A few problems with this:

  1. The cookies are painfully over-priced. So you would have to be terrible with money to actually buy them. I don’t care how good they taste.
  2. It’s not like the eight-year-old handles the money or decides on the marketing. All of that, I assume, is done by the tribe mother. The child isn’t learning anything at all except how to be a cashier (which, fittingly, is what most women’s careers end out being).
  3. The kids don’t bake them. If the Girl Scouts had an actual bake sale, I could understand forking over a dollar for a brownie, because they are actually learning skills and I know the money will go to the local community.

This is supposed to be a fundraiser. Knowing how modern “non-profits” work, you could guess without even doing the Google search that someone at the top is getting rich off the Girl Scouts. And so I did the search for you.

New tax filings peg [CEO Chaves’s] yearly salary at $393,380 — nearly four times the $104,000 she made annually heading a scout council in Texas, and more than her predecessor, Kathryn Cloninger, an eight-year CEO who made $356,911 in 2010.

The hefty pay package comes despite her tenure being marked by staff layoffs, membership and cookie-sale declines, budget cuts at headquarters, and local chapters under fire for selling or threatening to close campgrounds in 27 states.


And while the Scouts are cutting to the bone, Chavez spent $65,000 on a comfortable new throne for her 17th-floor Fifth Avenue office.


The Girl Scouts’ headquarters has been in disarray since Chavez, 45, took over, with employees complaining about her dictatorial style and a climate of fear. Letters have gone to the organization’s board of directors seeking help, with one writer calling Chavez a “Cookie Monster.”

“If you want a lesson in workplace bullying, come right on down to GSUSA,” a writer said in a recent missive.


Local councils are being squeezed by rising contributions to the Girl Scouts pension plan, which is in such bad shape that the organization sought congressional assistance.

The plan faces a massive deficit — at least $340 million, according to a 2012 lawsuit filed in Tennessee.

The plan’s finances nosedived after more employees were added to it beginning in 2006 and other workers were offered early retirement packages, the lawsuit claims.

The changes came as the number of Girl Scout councils nationwide were consolidated from 312 to 112. The early retirement plan was offered to avoid layoffs as the groups merged.

Never under-estimate America’s ability to profit off of children. And here we thought slavery ended in the 1860s…

Also never under-estimate women’s ability to backbite and bully as soon as they get a sliver of power.

So the little girls are forced to spend weekends guilting passers-by into buying cookies no one would spend money on if a smiling little girl didn’t aggressively confront him. Shouldn’t scouts be, like, scouting or something? I didn’t know harassing people outside Winn-Dixie was a survival skill. I always dismissively tell them, “I’m Catholic!” and walk off, leaving them to wonder what that meant.

Speaking of which, your daughters aren’t really learning good values.

The national organization, for example, contributes more than a million dollars each year to the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts (WAGGS), an organization tied to International Planned Parenthood [PP] and its advocacy for legislation that includes both contraception and abortion as preventive health care for women.

Margaret Sanger [a eugenicist and PP’s founder], Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem are frequently held up in materials as role models for young Scouts. These as well as many other “role models” in the GSUSA’s new manuals and web content not only do not reflect our Catholic worldview but stand in stark opposition to what we believe.


The GSUSA has also allowed boys claiming to be girls (so-called transgenders) to join the organization.


Though this certainly should be enough to discredit the group, its trespasses go further still. Just consider a GSUSA curriculum called “Journeys,” through which girls have learned “about stone labyrinths, world peace, global warming, yoga, avatars, smudging incense, Zen gardens and feminist, communist and lesbian role models,” reported’s Chelsea Schilling in 2009. And according to the Catholic News Agency, which provided more details in 2012:

The “Journey” book “Your Voice Your World: The Power of Advocacy” spotlights numerous lesbians and LGBT advocates as “Voices for Good” — role models for young Scouts.

And the 4th and 5th grade “Journeys” book, “Agent of Change,” highlights author Marjane Satrapi, a young Iranian woman with “real moxie,” whose life — detailed in her comic book-style autobiography, “Persepolis” — will “inspire” Girl Scouts. But in Persepolis, Satrapi crudely discusses men’s genitalia (even with her own father), calls nuns prostitutes, gets explicit lessons about sex from a promiscuous friend, lives with eight homosexual men and attempts suicide twice. Offensive illustrations and shocking sexual dialogue complete the picture. For ten-year olds?

… Another “Journey” book, “GIRLtopia,” encourages 9th and 10th graders, “to imagine a perfect world — for girls.” It recommends the book, “The Gate to Women’s Country,” by Sheri Tepper (former Executive Director of Rocky Mountain Planned Parenthood), as a utopian journey into “a future world where women spend their lives learning and discovering lost knowledge.” That’s a deceptive gloss on a book laced with obscenities, revolting dialogue, and lewd descriptions, and which presents men as violent barbarians. The book graphically describes women having sex with random warriors at a semi-annual Carnival, undergoing brutal, demeaning genital exams, and breeding out violence by compulsive sterilization and selective prostitution. The only good men are castrated men. This is Girl Scout utopia?

It’s weird watching a Catholic bishop uphold actual Catholic morality. I thought that wasn’t a thing anymore.

[Other interesting links: here and here.]

And the Boy Scouts are right on their heels. But they don’t harass strangers about buying junk in order to line the pockets of a corrupt CEO under the guise of community service, so I don’t care.

And yes, all lesbians hate men. It’s no coincidence that the Girl Scouts amp up the anti-male rhetoric at the same time as the homosexuality and “liberated independent woman” rhetoric. These ideas don’t exist in a vacuum.


Probably the single greatest loss in the development of America over the last several decades is our community institutions. Both the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts push secularist garbage values to brainwash your kids (though it seems less bad in the Boy Scouts because they are more locally run). And even if they didn’t, most kids don’t have any interest in learning these kinds of hands-on skills.

The public library I am in now has a Teen Corner which prominently displays a biography of Katy Perry. The library in Pearl, Mississippi has video games for children to rent and take up space in the line for those of us who want to check out actual books. The library in downtown Chattanooga, Tennessee built a Teen Area with video games to play and some kind of recording studio in the library, and they previously held a fundraiser with pole dancers (though in fairness, the real purpose of the Chattanooga-Hamilton County library is a public urinal for all the homeless, even at the suburban branches).

Where is the nucleus of community? There is no brass band on Fourth of July outside the courthouse. [Interesting links that I actually didn’t read: here, here and here.] Instead we have the most guttural, talentless filth as mainstream music, regardless of genre.

Nobody knows their neighbors, because we are so divided in our political and social beliefs that we cannot even have a discussion about our lives without the other becoming offended. Do you homeschool your children? Does your wife stay home instead of work? Your neighbors will hate you, partly out of jealousy and partly out of guilt.

Most Catholic universities are sodomite factories, and as far as I can tell, the laity and clergy support it. Mainline protestant churches have emptied, and evangelical protestant churches have whored themselves out to entertainment. America doesn’t respect Christianity anymore because Christianity is no longer respectable. Most pastors — protestant, Orthodox, whatever — are talentless hacks who are looking for an easy air-conditioned job with a lot of status attached.

Even in rural communities (in the South at least, because I was shocked to find this was almost absent in rural Ohio and New York), there are far more fast food chains than local restaurants. People have forgotten the old recipes. Smoking pork, frying chicken, and baking pie are lost arts, relearned through one’s own efforts and not passed on from the previous generation.

The police are viewed at best as a necessary evil that one should be afraid of, and for good reason — they are more afriad of you than you are of them. As people have become more anti-police — and as the police forces become more institutionalized and bureaucratic — the police have acted more standoffish. People are afraid of being hit with a ridiculous fine for the smallest infraction, because that has become the norm. People still watch The Andy Griffith Show because they long for a time when the police were genuinely your friends.

Freemasonry is dying. Probably a good thing. But if nothing else, it was a major social nucleus that brought people together.

Magazines today are gossip rags. There is no equivalent of the Saturday Evening Post. You learn nothing from reading magazines. It is all a means of wasting time and selling advertisements.

All of that (aside from Freemasonry) is the real loss of America. Manufacturing jobs being shipped to other countries and our communites being flooded with the fecal run-off of the third world are just the externals. These things are fixable with a wave of legislation. The real loss are the internals. Trump has said a few very values-ey things, but it is a losing battle.

Where is our culture? Where are our traditions? Where is our community? What does it mean to be an American anymore?

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