The Demons In The Woods

In the beginning humanity roamed the steppes searching for bison and berries. In time they built cities, and that which lived outside the city became the Other. The enemy tribe on the other side of the river was easy to understand and plain to see. What was truly terrifying was what couldn’t be understood or seen.

Mythologies about Minotaurs and frost giants ended with Christianity, but in their place rose new mythologies about the witch in the woods with the house of candy who eats children. Or the wealthy elderly widower with a country mansion and a basement full of corpses. What’s in the woods? Goblins and witches and trolls.

But today we are scientific. We know there’s nothing in the woods except lions and tigers and bears. So now we have new demons in the woods.

Klansmen, Nazis, and white supremacists. These creatures don’t exist, but that’s kind of the point. The Klan formally disbanded in 1944. The Nazis are a defunct political party from another continent. White supremacy is a meaningless smear term to stigmatize anyone who thinks the West is the least barbaric part of the world.

Nietzsche said that if God didn’t exist then we would have a need to invent him anyway. But what about the opposite of God? Satan and witches and goblins and Sasquatch and Klansmen and registered sex offenders. Those are just as important. You can’t believe in goodness without believing in an evil to fight against. We need Nazis and Klansmen to exist. Where would we be without them? We need the Ku Klux Klan to give us normies the moral high ground.

When Trump beat a candidate that almost literally no one actually wanted for president, people acted as though the demons had finally come out of the woods. Gays would be sent to camps and have all the sparkles electrocuted out of them. Muslims would be forbidden from wearing their self-stigmatizing clothing. Blacks and Mexicans would be hunted for sport by civilian and policeman alike. All the nation’s handicap bathrooms would be permanently closed.

Unfortunately nothing that awesome happened. All that happened was some economic restructuring, and everyone’s unemployment levels went down. Lame.

What the liberal one-percenters in DC and New York don’t realize is, for years Hillary Clinton has been the demon in the woods for middle America. For 20 years people from Georgia to Idaho were terrified she would get elected. Bill would flip flop as needed, but Hillary was a true believer in the far left and would enforce it with an iron fist (or whatever material lesbians’ use for fisting). Somehow the elites thought they could get enough of a coastal majority to ignore the interior’s deepest political fears and this wouldn’t at all cause a horrible backlash like electing Donald Trump or losing the rust belt.

Realistically Hillary wouldn’t have done much as president. She isn’t far left, because she doesn’t have beliefs. All she would have done is flood the country with feral migrants so that a Republican is never elected again, stock the supreme court with liberals, and get us into a suicidal war with Russia, but that’s nothing the Republicans weren’t heading towards themselves.

I think within a hundred years, Hillary Clinton will replace Adolf Hitler as the most evil person who ever lived. Candidates will say the opposition is “the new Hillary Clinton.” People will say things like, “My mother is the worst — she’s like literally the Hillary Clinton,” or, “That girl’s only 15 — I wouldn’t touch her with Hillary Clinton’s dick.”

Eat your vegetables children, or else Hillary Clinton will get you.

What would be really fun for Halloween is get a small group of people to dress up as Klansmen and scare white liberals downtown. What does society possibly fear more? Fake vampire blood won’t get you any mileage. What people really fear is the radical white identitarianism hiding in the woods. It’s time to make Halloween scary again.


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